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The Tragic

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[06 Nov 2005|06:19pm]
Check out FLYLEAF! On tour with STAIND.

E-card here!
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People [14 Sep 2005|07:42pm]

[ mood | bitchy ]

It sickens me to the pits of my stomach that some people could be so nasty. I used to be extremely fat in school and I'm also 6'0. Those two things were a bad combination and I was such an easy target. Fair enough, I have lost weight, but I still get stared at and shouted at almost every single time I go out. It sometimes make me want to hide away in my room and never come out. I don't give up in the end. I always just walk with my head held high and give them a smart-arse anwer. I also have black hair and dress differently to most people around me. Why do people have to be such cunts? Why can't they just keep their noses out of my fucking affairs? I think that short men give me abuse because they are jealous and bitter.....and extremely repulsive to look at most of the time.

I'm confused about the way I look 99.999999999% of the time. I have a very sweet, caring boyfriend who think's I'm the most beautiful girl in the world but it doesn't sink in at all. I blame school for all my problems. I'm 21 years old and it still effects me to this day. I just don't really know what to do about it.

I have nothing but utter hatred for most of the people on this planet. I just want to rip their faces off and kick them several thousand times in the head. I want to make them suffer like how I was made to suffer. Actually, they don't even deserve death, just a damn good trashing with a cricket bat.

Sorry if I've came across as such a cliche!

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Concert [22 Aug 2005|07:25pm]

Rise Against

August, 24 2005 at Irving Plaza
Not Available, New York, NY 10001

with From Autumn To, Comeback Kid, and The Loved Ones
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Do you ever get the feeling someone's watching you? [18 Aug 2005|05:18pm]

[ mood | pensive ]

I'm new in here so I thought I'd post a little some'n some'n.........for your poetic pleasure, my favorite poem by William Blake........

Broken Love

MY Spectre around me night and day
Like a wild beast guards my way;
My Emanation far within
Weeps incessantly for my sin.

‘A fathomless and boundless deep,
There we wander, there we weep;
On the hungry craving wind
My Spectre follows thee behind.

‘He scents thy footsteps in the snow
Wheresoever thou dost go,
Thro’ the wintry hail and rain.
When wilt thou return again?

’Dost thou not in pride and scorn
Fill with tempests all my morn,
And with jealousies and fears
Fill my pleasant nights with tears?

‘Seven of my sweet loves thy knife
Has bereavèd of their life.
Their marble tombs I built with tears,
And with cold and shuddering fears.

‘Seven more loves weep night and day
Round the tombs where my loves lay,
And seven more loves attend each night
Around my couch with torches bright.

‘And seven more loves in my bed
Crown with wine my mournful head,
Pitying and forgiving all
Thy transgressions great and small.

‘When wilt thou return and view
My loves, and them to life renew?
When wilt thou return and live?
When wilt thou pity as I forgive?’

‘O’er my sins thou sit and moan:
Hast thou no sins of thy own?
O’er my sins thou sit and weep,
And lull thy own sins fast asleep.

‘What transgressions I commit
Are for thy transgressions fit.
They thy harlots, thou their slave;
And my bed becomes their grave.

‘Never, never, I return:
Still for victory I burn.
Living, thee alone I’ll have;
And when dead I’ll be thy grave.

‘Thro’ the Heaven and Earth and Hell
Thou shalt never, quell:
I will fly and thou pursue:
Night and morn the flight renew.’

‘Poor, pale, pitiable form
That I follow in a storm;
Iron tears and groans of lead
Bind around my aching head.

‘Till I turn from Female love
And root up the Infernal Grove,
I shall never worthy be
To step into Eternity.

‘And, to end thy cruel mocks,
Annihilate thee on the rocks,
And another form create
To be subservient to my fate.

‘Let us agree to give up love,
And root up the Infernal Grove;
Then shall we return and see
The worlds of happy Eternity.

‘And throughout all Eternity
I forgive you, you forgive me.
As our dear Redeemer said:
“This the Wine, and this the Bread.”’

A little about myself- I'm the middle child. I'm an actress (I won't say I'm a good one cuz that's really not an unbiased opinion.....I'll just say ppl say I'm amazing but when I see tapes, I'm not sure I can act for shit.) I sing (see comment for acting) I like to read........ppl think that's weird......whatever. oh yeah.......and my favorite colors are black & red apparently.......bcz that's all I have in my friggin' wardrobe. I blame my mother......she was born in new york.

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[11 Jul 2005|02:52am]

ebony pavement,
with blueberry rain.
soft water streams,
and chocolate puddle spray.
the yellow boots fall,
into the quite of the night,
in the calming storm,
a childs delite.
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[27 Jun 2005|04:49pm]

Image hosted by Photobucket.com
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[27 Jun 2005|02:42am]

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

A poem i wrote...yep

Home is where the heart is
Then my head rests on the pavement
And it was 3 story fall
From your heart to the asphalt
Come morning, your thoughts will be on me
Come morning, ill be engraved in stone.
Like the emotions, from your actions, you condone.

The yarn ball slowly dwindles
And spills onto the pavement
I’m just a tangled mess
It’s all knots and pulled so tight
Cutting off circulation to
To everything and everyone around me
To my emotions and memory
By the time you come to realized
Ill be carried away,
The chalk silloette is all that will be left
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Icons! [04 Jun 2005|10:38am]

Ahh its that attack of the icons. I'm really bored so don't mind me. I made icons for many different things... such as band - Image hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.com

And about me...

Image hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.com

Or others...

Image hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.com

AND EVEN JEWS! (I am jewish)

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

I HAVE TOO MUCH TIME ON MY HANDS! If anyone wants me to make them an icon, just email me: Shadow10570@yahoo.com or IM me: AIM - Cheeta12890 and YIM - Shadow10570

Tell me what you think ^_^
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[22 Jan 2005|07:10pm]

this sucks
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Tattoo Book Responses...Please read [21 Dec 2004|02:14pm]

Someone posted in response to my survey this comment. I am not going to name this person, though if she wants to identify herself she surely can. I am very pleased she commented in this vein, as the criticism I've taken for this survey has been very harsh. The responses I've gotten so far (wel over 200) have been wonderful, but I want to address the criticisms.

She wrote:

well i am very concerned about this survey and what effect it is going to have on the mainstream.... for many year we (modded peeps) have been trying to be accepted in the mainstream, to get better jobs to get better pay to get better services and not be looked down on for our mods...i fear if this book comes out it is going to hurt a lot in our culture/community of body modification....it will set back our struggle for acceptance a century at least....and just what is heavily modified? i think that is in the eye of the beholder/viewer...even tho i am an older educated woman who is 2/3 covered in ink and over 19 piercings...i do not think of myself as "heavily" modified....i never did self harm to my knowledge...and dont look at tattooing or modifyng my body as self harm.... very concerned about the outcome of this book...sure you may help a few women with this book but overALL i think you will be doing a disservice to the community of body modifications...

Please read my lengthy response after the cut, and please respond with your own thought. I am so serious about this project, and I want it to be right. Any help and constructive criticism is welcomed. The only hurtful things that have been said to me have included name-calling and stuff like that, but these things are easily ignored. I will never ignore conscientious criticism Read more...Collapse )
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Tattoo/piercing survey for women [19 Dec 2004|02:51am]

x-posted to any community interested in tattoos, piercing, self injury, depression, being a "freak", or suicide girls

First, let me introduce myself. My name is Susan Swan; I'm a
professor of English at Marshall University in Huntington, WV. I am heavily tattooed and am/was a self injurerer. This survey asks very personal questions, so please feel free to backchannel me your answers if you would rather do so; my email is: swans@marshall.edu

Although this survey does specifically ask about self-injury and tattoos, I'm also very interested in other reasons that women get tattooed. So please fill out the survey and tell me your reasons for being tattooed/pierced. at least one chapter of my book will focus on reasons other than self-injury.

http://www.vyvyn.com/melissa-back.html -- Melissa Thompson is my
artist, and she works with Vyvyn Lazonga, one of the very first
female tattoo artists along withy Gypsy Jill and Pat Fish.

Anyway, I"ve been wanting to do research on moderate to heavily tattooed and pierced women
My premise is that many heavily tattooed women were once self-injurers of some type -- that
is, they cut themselves, were addicted to drugs, gambling, spending,
or nicotine, had suicidal thoughts, or caused themselves physical pain
in other ways. My hypothesis is that these women "cure" their
self-injury tendencies by inscribing their body with beauty/pain. The
title of the book will be "From Pain to Beauty: Heavily Tattooed
Women and Inscripted Resistance" or something like that.

For a definition of self-injury followed by the survey, read on: Read more...Collapse )
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Love letters.... [19 Dec 2004|07:34pm]

I am creating a found objects art creation *specatcular* sculpture made out of ribbons, broken glass and love letters.

The only problem is that I am in need of love letters.

If any of you have any to donate, it would be much appreciated!!!!

Good way to let go of the past and let it be made into something beautiful!
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tragic novel :) [05 Aug 2004|03:43pm]


Here is my tragic novel i am beginning to write...

(not only is it tragic.. its pretty darn erotic)


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[08 Jun 2004|03:15pm]

[ mood | apathetic ]

Hey everyone. This group seemed nice and I felt like I would fit in so I joined. My name is Tim and I'm sixteen... some people consider me "goth" some consider me "emo" but I consider myself to be myself and nothing else. Labels, labels, labels I'm sure you all hear enough of that.. so anyways I like to write poetry and I've been published a few times. I'm really into music also, AFI is the best and if you haven't expierienced them you should. I've been running away a lot lately and that's been going pretty good, but my parents are always a lot different every time I get back, I don't even know if I'm in trouble this time, it's crazy. I'm just so numb to everything now, I know I hurt them and I just don't really care or feel anything, that's part of the reason I left this time.. but today was good so I shouldn't really complain anymore, have a great day~

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[28 May 2004|05:50pm]

we drank each other apart
and the memorys are extending
ghosts of impacted
the hell with you, and your freinds,
i should just settle, settled
and the choices that we make,
the words were so heavy
the alleyways neverending
the worst day was the best day,
the day after tommorow,
then we fall in the oblivion
of words that are not just words
but its a feeling that we all keep bleeding
into these lines of an emotion so heavy
we can take so blinded,
the eyes avoiding the truth,
we can live so carlessly,
the masticated hearts surround youth,

grievance over something
so selfishly denying
patence for a lie,
a love that is trying,
what was the point
for its so much to take
and we are all whore to gulteny we feed
never seeming satify,
at what price will you bleed?
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Stop the Construction of a Toxic Waste Incinerator in New Brunswick, Canada WE NEED YOUR SUPPORT! [14 May 2004|03:08pm]

Bennett Environmental, Inc. is proposing to import large quantities of toxic waste (100,000+ tons per year of contaminated soil), from polluted sites in the U.S. & Canada, then treating it in the Chaleur region of New Brunswick. Bennett facilities have been rejected in the province of British Columbia, Ontario and by the state of Massachusetts. But, the New Brunswick government, dismissing fierce opposition from doctors, scientists, environmentalists, and many concerned citizens, has given preliminary approval for a Bennett toxic waste incinerator in Belledune, New Brunswick. The incinerator is currently under construction and could be operational in the spring of 2004. We need help getting the word out!

Please visit http://www.stopbennett.com to sign the petition.
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mean girls [06 May 2004|11:24pm]

So i went and i saw the movie mean girls....Man did that movie take me back...It was funny in some ways...in others very sad...it made me think about my time in high school.....i felt like i was back in high school and i was just going to the theatre...leaving the movie i checked myself out in the window reflection and i picked out everything wrong with me... then i scanned everyone around the room and i felt like everyone was watching me... but the thing is everyone in the theatre was olyounger then me....but, they were better dressed then me...they had boyfriends...their hair was perfect....then i cuaght myself...what the hell was i thinking.....i don't want to be them....the look so unhappy.....
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[06 May 2004|05:23pm]

La Madonna de l'oppression (French)
by me

Mother is the lantern in the fear of night.
The one that pulls away the darkness of the light.
Back and forth, to and fro,
Wondar in and out of innocence as they grow
And the children down bellow let out there screams.
There mental rationality seems to split its seam’s….
And as The children’s voice die away…
Drowning their innocence in society’s decay
Having hope in faiths deception
Claming it to be love itself or is it oppression
Every little ripple seems to affect the deep,
Down where the herder tends to the impressionable sheep.
But listen to mother’s word, Heed to her cry,
If you don’t, remember
She brought you in, she can say goodbye
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[30 Apr 2004|01:16pm]

Once upon a Time....

i left you where you stood.
you rode off wearing angels wings
while i burn in my sins
of all the things i have done...
what have i become.......
my heart Is my CREST
i wear it at my sleeve
i leave it at your knees....
but leave me with my sin
for i will take it to my grave

Once upon a time...
it was you and I....
lost in some sweet dreams....
between the stars, and sky...
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[24 Feb 2004|11:47pm]

this question is for the creator of this community.. whats the symbol in the icon stand for?

the reason why i ask is Im looking for a symbol that stands for "tragic" or "tragedy" for a tattoo Im getting, so i was just wondering, thanks

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